Two Years in Italy
This is officially the longest we have lived in one place. Actually, when we hit 1.5 years, that was the longest I have lived in one place since I went to college. As an active duty military spouse, I have gotten used to moving around a lot, but even this is a little unusual for the military. Typically, we would be on 2-3 year orders in one location. Our family has just taken a bit of a different path because of my partner’s career, and that is okay. At the end of the day, it brought us to Naples and I can honestly say that this has been one of the best places for our family - for me and my individual growth, for my relationship with my partner, and for my son.
There are the obvious benefits to living in Europe and in Italy — we do in fact eat pizza and pasta constantly and we are able to travel to multiple countries as easily as we would travel from Indiana to Florida. We pinch ourselves constantly that things we could only dream of seeing when we were kids, like the Eiffel Tower in Paris or the Colosseum in Rome, are now things we have been able to show our three year old. Our trips have been incredible, from major cities to hidden away small towns. From multiple countries at a time, to staycations 10 minutes from our house that feel like we’ve been transported to a luxury vacation destination.
Yet as I reflect on what I’m most grateful for about the past two years of living in Italy, it is the perspective shift that I have had. When we came to Italy, I was told that I was, quite literally, not allowed to legally work, except for a few specific instances that were very difficult to come by on base, due to an agreement between the States and Italy that I won’t bore you with. Before we moved here, I had been balancing being a stay-at-home-mom with freelance consultant work and had been planning to ramp that back up again when we moved here. Suddenly, that was no longer an option.
If I’m being totally honest, there was some relief in being given permission to not work. In having the freedom to simply exist and explore. To be a mom but also take time to focus back on myself. Thanks to the fact that the incredible childcare is affordable here (we love our son’s scuola dell’infanzia so much and will be grateful to them for the rest of our lives for loving our family so much), I have been able to get some time back for myself. I have become a better mom. A better friend. A better me. Since moving to Italy, I have discovered that I genuinely enjoy being a stay at home mom. But I also know that I need time alone. I need time to run to the store and get groceries quickly, without having to chase a three year old down the aisles while he pushes his baby cart (which is adorable, don’t get me wrong). I need time to workout, to sit and journal, to meditate, to clean the house. And I’ll admit it: I even need time where I’m not being productive and I sit on the couch with a coffee and watch a little Netflix alone with no partner and no toddler in the house.
Living here in our quiet little Italian beach town, life is just slower. I don’t feel myself putting pressure on myself to “achieve” gold stars, to have tangible trophies I can display to show the world, “look, my life has value because I have achieved x, y, and z,” or because I have earned “x” amount of money. This is not at all the mentality I had before moving here and I hope it one that I am able to maintain when we eventually move away.
I am wildly grateful that our family’s situation allows me to support our family by staying home with our son. I am proud of the mom I am becoming and even prouder of the version of Kirstin I am today and will be tomorrow. And mamma mia, do I love Italy.
Watching the sunset over Monte di Procida (my town!) from Cala Moresca hotel in Miseno